You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its not stalking. its research.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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