I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
