i think my tv is drunk
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
