There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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