I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
