yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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