dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
