I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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