I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
