If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just forgot I was standing up.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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