I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
