ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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