I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
