Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
