My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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