I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
