Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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