I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
