Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
