MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
