I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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