Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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