When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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