are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize