I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
