I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
