brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
