If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
