Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
