Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
