I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
