im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
