Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
