Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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