just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
