Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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