I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
