Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
