He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
