Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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