Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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