Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
