guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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