Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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