I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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