Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
