All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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