the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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