She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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