I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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