you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
