you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
