It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
