So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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