You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Drake has all the answers
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
