If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
