I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
