it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
