No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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