then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
