so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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