i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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