it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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