Whod you bang
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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