You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
