benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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