One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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