dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
