Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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