Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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