Got a toothbrush?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
