I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize