normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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