i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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