Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
