WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
