Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
