Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
