I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize