Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
